Uhh....Stripper Pole

SO. Erin goes shopping at Anthropologie for a cute outfit for tonight, because there's this big party for some guys' birthdays. We go see Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist. [This isn't really important] We go home, clean a little, and pour ourselves a glass of wine at around 9. 

Robbie & Chris come over around 10, and Erin & I are 3 glasses of wine in. We decide to play beer pong (ruit), only Erin and I fill OUR cups with wine. 3 games later, we decide to head to the hill, armed with a bottle of wine. 

We make it to Hayley's, apparently I am groped by the friend of a guy Erin works with (whose girlfriend wants to beat Erin's ass.) We take a couple shots and then...

I guess we probably make it to the party around 11:30 or 12. I am, at this point, completely blacked out. Somehow I guess I convince Erin it's a good idea to hit up the stripper pole in the center of the room. We (mostly me) dance around for about a half an hour, making out with each other. At some point I take off my shirt. Still on the pole. Yup. 

NEXT. [keep in mind i have absolutely NO recollection of this, and Erin's is spotty at best.] 

We see someone Erin knows from high school, and I guess we go talk to them. Somehow, one of them calls Erin a slut and a bitch, so we start screaming at them, follow them outside, and Erin yells and shoves one of them until they leave. 

????????????????

I wake up in a strange bed. With a strange boy, who is putting covers over me and asking if I am cold. Strange boy asks me my name, I ask him his. It's James. James tells me nothing happened, and that I sort of just passed out in his bed. Curiously, though, my pants are unzipped and my bra is unhooked. I'm thinking I don't believe strange boy. I call Robbie, he picks me up and takes me home. Erin is there, sleeping. Half her tooth is missing. We don't know how she chipped it. Here's hoping everyone left their cameras at home. 

Drunk Levels: fucking 200 out of 10. whoops.

 

Thursday Night: The Pregame turned into the game.

So there's supposed to be this party up on the Hill for a snowboard DVD premiere (everyone who lives around us is really into snowboarding & skating)..not really me & Erin's thing but there are supposed to be 5 kegs plus jungle juice so we decide to just get drunk and go. 

Luckily we hadn't finished much of the Vodka from last night, so we made ourselves drinks around 10. Mixed drinks are a little harder for me to drink (especially since I tend to put a little too much alcohol in them) so I move on to shots after drinking only about half of my vodka and cranberry. 

Our neighbor, Brad, calls and tells us to come over so he can pick up some 40's and we can head up to the party. We bring the vodka. I'm 2 shots and half a drink in. Erin's about a half a shot and 3/4 of a drink in. So we get to Brad's and drink a little more (I take a couple more shots & Erin refills her drink) 

At around 10:45 we get a call from one of our friends who is at the party and, shocker, the cops are breaking it up. So we're frustrated because there's nothing else we know of to do, so we go to the liquor store and pick up a box of wine. 

I guess the vodka hits me pretty soon after we get back, because all I remember is that we were going to play wine pong. Erin says we went back to our place, ate, and I passed out on her lap. 

They drank a little more wine, watched the snowboarding DVD, and then went to bed. 

Not too eventful, but we've been blog slacking. 

Happy, Anthony?

2 boxes of Franzia & a 30 rack

After trying to decide what to do for a good 2 hours, we decided on 2 boxes of Franzia (boxed wine for those of you that don't know) and a 30 rack of Keystone. 

Natasha, her brother Christian, Brad, Cory & Ben came over and we played some drinking games, but Erin & I (of course) weren't getting drunk so we switched over from beer to wine and kept on playing (mostly games of 'fuck you' and guess who everyone loves to pick on) 

So Erin & I are pretty drunk I guess at this point, and Natasha's brother is even more drunk since he was at the bars before he came to our place. We decide to play beer pong (beruit for those of you on the East Coast). 

Natasha's brother has made it clear that he is looking for a girl tonight, and I guess he has made me the object of his determination. He chooses me to be his beer pong partner and dances behind me a little while we're playing. We kiss a few times before I start to get a little weirded out and tell Natasha to ask him to back off. 

Erin, meanwhile has broken 2-3 of our roommate's wine glasses (Heather was happy...) and proceeded to black out so I couldn't really tell you a play by play of her night from here on. 

I decide it's a good idea to start texting Prince Charming (this is a sarcastic nickname.) I tell him I miss him and blah blah blah, I get emotional and all nostalgic when I'm drunk. 

Christian and Natasha leave because Natasha can't tell how many fingers I'm holding up. 

Erin tells me she's passing out but really goes across the street to watch Dazed & Confused.

I make the walk all the way to Prince Charming's apartment (30 minutes away..) 

In true Anthony Kripal fashion: 

drunk levels: Kristi-8 out of 10   Erin-9 out of 10

First Night Back...Did We Really Just Finish That Handle?

After fundamental problems in my love life, I decided returning to Boulder would do wonders for the remainder of my summer vacation. With four long weeks ahead of me, my SuperShuttle pulled up at my best friend/roommate's summer residence. Seeing me through the blinds, she sprinted from the house, dressed in last night's dress. Half on. 

The inside of the house was layered in filth, old food and beer cans. I set my bags on the floor, and we set off on our mission to find alcohol. It was 100 degrees-almost unbearable-but we walked the mile or so to the pizza place where she works, aiming to find a 21+ to fuel the fire that is our alcoholism. 

About an hour later, we held in our purses a handle of Jose Cuervo and margarita mix. 

The first few drinks boasted a modest ratio: a shot or two of tequila, the rest margarita mix. But as the afternoon wore on, this ration became more uneven. Cups half full of tequila with a splash of mix hit us hard and by early evening we were so hammered that the rest of this post will be written with only the knowledge of what others have told us about that night. 

Around this time, in a classic example of 'wrong place wrong time' our neighbor-whom we had never met-decided to pay us a visit. Armed with more margaritas, we decided to put our deteriorating social skills to work.

While my friend inquired about the color of his pubic hair (he was a ginger...) I retreated inside for a little private time with the girl I did NOT (in all fairness) know was a bisexual. We made out, okay? Sue me.

Later...7pm

Our other temporary roommate, we'll call him "Mark" returned home from work to find me laying across the porch swing with my head in a bucket full of empty beer cans and cigarette butts. Seemed the sugar in the strawberry mix had gotten the best of me and was now making its way back up.  

Anyway, somehow I made it inside and passed out on my bed (read: the living room couch that is adorned with dried vomit. excellent.) Next to the empty handle of tequila. 

10pm

Awakening from her coma, my roommate roused me from mine and we decided it was time to go out. We each took a couple drunken showers (none of which we recall) and, in the transition between towel and dress, I managed to drop both and stand completely naked in front of both of my male roommates. Hey boys, happy I'm back?

Dresses successfully on (can't say the same about my bra), I walked into the hall where "Elizabeth" was standing, taunting "Mark." I walked in just about the time she was requesting a punch in the face and though he turned her down, I was happy to oblige. "Elizabeth," my best friend and roommate, got a fist straight to the jaw. And then chased me around the house in a failed attempt to retaliate. This little brawl ended with me throwing her into the kitchen wall. 

Time to Party! 11pm

Made our way (God knows how) to a certain frat house. Meanwhile, I am on the phone call that effectively ended my 8 month relationship. Screaming that I am going to fuck every guy I see. I believe I used the phrase "stick their dicks in me" a few times. Oh good. 

Though I didn't exactly go to those lengths, let's just say my boobs got a lot of fresh air that night. And, as if that wasn't enough to humiliate me for the rest of my college life, I will inform you that trying to perch on beer pong tables is never a good idea. It collapsed, and I went tumbling with it. Bravo, Bravo. 

The night ended with my whipping out my debit card, making a call to Domino's and passing out before I even got to eat it. But don't worry..."Elizabeth" was happy to help.